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+
+ Ted Sandyman's Important Compendium of Deep Thought, Vol. 3
+ -------------------------------------------------------
+
+
+I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just
+walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to
+me.
+
+When you're going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other
+leg up high behind you to keep people from following too close.
+
+I wonder if angels believe in ghosts.
+
+I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is
+it they want to know?
+
+I think people tend to forget that trees are living creatures. They're
+sort of like dogs. Huge, quiet, motionless dogs, with bark instead of
+fur.
+
+Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think,
+"Aw, who cares?" And then I think, "Hey, what's for supper?"
+
+If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
+is "God is crying". And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
+thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did".
+
+Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion
+or tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a shark
+riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see.
+
+As I bit into the nectarine, it had a crisp juiciness about it that
+was very pleasurable- until I realized it wasn't a nectarine at all,
+but a HUMAN HEAD!!
+
+Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's
+neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh,
+because what _is_ that thing?!
+
+If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger,
+screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave
+Man, I guess I am a coward.
+
+Blow ye winds, like the trumpet blows, but without that noise.
+
+The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.
+
+When I heard that trees grow a new "ring" for each year they live, I
+thought, we humans are kind of like that; we grow a new layer of skin
+each year; and after many years we are thick and unwieldy from all our
+skin layers.
+
+It's too bad that whole families have been torn apart by something as
+simple as wild dogs.
+
+Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what he had
+accomplished was a brilliant piece of strategy. First, he punched me,
+then he kicked me, then he punched me again.
+
+To me, truth is not some vague, foggy notion. Truth is real. And, at
+the same unreal. Fiction and fact and everything in-between, plus some
+things I can't remember, all rolled into one big "thing". This is
+truth, to me.
+
+If you're ever stuck in some thick undergrowth, in your underwear,
+don't stop and start thinking of what other words have "under" in
+them, because that's probably the first sign of jungle madness.
+
+Sometimes the beauty of the world is so overwhelming, I just want to
+throw back my head and gargle. Just gargle and gargle, and I don't
+care who hears me, because I am beautiful.
+
+We used to laugh at Grandpa when he'd head off to go fishing. But we
+wouldn't be laughing when he'd come back with some whore he picked up
+in town.
+
+I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I
+like people that do what I say.
+
+A man doesn't automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the
+dirt and beg for it.
+
+People think it would be fun to be a bird because you could fly. But
+they forget the negative side, which is the preening.
+
+When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my life, I
+can't think of a single one, unless you count that rattlesnake that
+granted me all those wishes.
+