path: root/lib/file/monspeak.txt

# This is the file for allowing uniques to speak their "own" lines.
# Deleting this file will have no real effect on the game.  Modifying it may
# cause STRANGE unique lines to come up if the format's wrong, but shouldn't
# crash anything.  The format goes like so:
# 
# N:45:whoever this is
# 3
# says bravado line 1
# says bravado line 2
# says bravado line 3
# 2
# says fear line 1
# says fear line 2
#
# The number after the N: is the "monster index number" obtained from
# r_info.txt.  The text field after that number isn't actually used--it's
# just there to help humans edit the file.  The numbers on lines by
# themselves say the number of "bravado" and "fear" lines.  Getting these
# numbers wrong won't crash anything, but will produce strange lines.
#
# Two or more monsters can share lines; just put their N: lines in a
# contiguous block.
#
# To stop a certain monster from having unique lines, put a # in front of
# its N: line.
#
# Have fun with this!     --Matt G

N:8:Farmer Maggot
3
says, 'I'm carrying CASH!'
smirks, 'You wouldn't kill me, would you?'
gleefully shows off a nifty object he just bought.
2
screams, 'Don't hurt a poor helpless hobbit!'
yells, 'Where are my vicious dogs when I need them?'

N:63:Smeagol
27
sniggers.
grovels.
picks his nose.
pines for his precious.
searches his pockets.
eats some slimy creatures.
mutters, 'My precious, wheres my precious?'
shouts, 'No Master Hobbitsisisisis!'
cries, 'The ring was ours for agesisisisis!'
says, 'Smeagol sneeking! ME! Shneekingsisis!'
screams, 'Nasty Hobbitsisisisis...'
says, 'Come on, quickly, follow Smeagol'
says, 'Every way is guarded, silly foolsis!'
says, 'Nasty Bagginis, stole my precious.'
says, 'She will kill them oh yes she will precious.'
whines, 'Weees wants some fishises.'
says, 'Whats has its got in its pocketses, hmmm?'
whimpers, 'We've lost itses we have.'
says, 'He'll eastus all the world if he getsitses it.'
says, 'No food, no rest; Smeagol a SNEAK!'
says, 'What a dainty little dish you will be for her.'
says, 'Hobbitses always SOOOO Polite.'
screams, 'Stop, Thief!'
says, 'Makeses him drop his weapon precious.'
grovels, 'He has only four fingers on the black hand.'
growls, 'Not nice Hobbits, not sensible!'
says, 'If you findesis it, give it us back.'
3
says, 'Don't hurt us, mastersisis.'
says, 'Poor Smeagol, poor Smeagol.'
says, 'No AH! Don't hurtsis us.'

N:135:Mughash the Kobold Lord
4
says, 'I may be a kobold, but I can beat you!'
says, 'Feel my wrath, fool!'
says, 'Death and destruction make me happy!'
snickers evilly.
2
screams, 'Cowards! Why did you abandon me?'
begs for mercy.

N:137:Wormtongue, Agent of Saruman
6
whines and sniggers.
leafs through 'Cowards Monthly.'
whispers nasty things.
says, 'I'll slaughter you slowly...'
giggles as he fingers his knife.
says, 'Now, you shall taste my wrath!'
3
begs you to spare his miserable life.
whines, 'This is not my fault!'
screams, 'Help! Help!'

N:138:Robin Hood, the Outlaw
6
eyes your money pouch covetously.
says, 'You look like Nottingham's man to me!'
says, 'I bet I can shoot better than you...'
says, 'Give 'til it hurts!'
says, 'Don't force me to put an arrow in your skull...'
says, 'Kevin Costner has soiled my name!'
3
begs you to spare his life.
says, 'But I'm a GOOD guy, really!'
says, 'Money? Sure, take it all back!'

#N:169:Brodda, the Easterling
#N:291:Ulfast, Son of Ulfang

N:180:Orfax, Son of Boldor
N:237:Boldor, King of the Yeeks
5
wonders aloud about the quality of your weapon.
spouts torrents of taunts.
shouts, 'YEEK! YEEK! YEEK!'
says, 'I'll teach you to respect yeeks!'
says, 'Feel lucky, punk?'
2
sobs, 'I didn't MEAN it...'
whimpers and moans.

N:200:Hobbes the Tiger
4
says, 'Why were people put here? TIGER FOOD!'
says, 'Yum! Adventurer sandwiches!'
says, 'I ate Calvin, now I'll eat YOU!'
says, 'I'll make your short life nasty and brutish!'
1
yells, 'Ow! Get me back to the comics!'

N:140:Lagduf, the Snaga
N:186:Grishnakh, the Hill Orc
N:215:Golfimbul, the Hill Orc Chief
N:260:Ufthak of Cirith Ungol
N:314:Shagrat, the Orc Captain
N:315:Gorbag, the Orc Captain
N:330:Bolg, Son of Azog
N:350:Ugluk, the Uruk
N:356:Lugdush, the Uruk
N:373:Azog, King of the Uruk-Hai
19
fingers his blade and grins evilly.
snickers, 'Now, I strike a blow for *our* side!'
says, 'Orcs don't get no respect... I'm gonna change that!'
calls your mother nasty names.
says, 'I'll bet your innards would taste real sweet...'
belches and spits.
scratches his armpits.
says, 'I love the smell of fresh blood.'
says, 'Yeeha! Another idiot to slaughter!'
hawks a loogie in your direction.
farts thunderously.
wonders aloud how many experience points you're worth.
says, 'I love being psychotic!'
says, 'My brain's on fire with the feeling to kill!'
says, 'I shall torture you slowly.'
calls you a scum-sucking pig-dog.
says, 'I shall break you!'
says, 'You're not so tough, loser!'
says, 'Heh-heh, heh-heh, killing people is cool.'
6
screams, 'Hey, orcs have rights too!'
says, 'You're just prejudiced against orc-kind, aren't you?'
begs, 'Spare me and I'll get you Ringil! Really!'
says, 'Next time, I'm bringing more Uruks with me!'
says, 'Don't hate me because I'm ugly!'
whimpers and grovels.

N:382:Mime, the Nibelung
4
says, 'Wagner misrepresented us!'
says, 'I'll mess up all your stuff!'
says, 'Give me the Rheingold, or die!'
hums 'Ride of the Valkyries.'
1
screams, 'Help! Murder! Murder!'

#N:392:Sangahyando of Umbar
#N:380:Angamaite of Umbar

#This next may be unnecessarily evil... :-]

N:393:It
6
says, 'Nyah, nyah, betcha can't find me!'
says, 'Come get some!'
magically summons mighty undead opponents!
chuckles evilly.
magically summons Cyberdemons!
summons special opponents!
2
howls, 'I'll be back!'
whimpers, 'They said this invisibility thing was better than it is!'

N:441:Barney the Dinosaur
7
says, 'Cooperation! That's the magic word!'
mutters, 'I *hate* those Teletubbies...'
says, 'Won't you be my friend?'
says, 'Let's all sing a HAPPY SONG!'
mugs for the camera.
simpers disgustingly.
chews up a 'Tinky Winky' doll.
3
begs, 'Don't! Think of the children!'
screams, 'But I'm a big TV star!'
sobs, 'All right! I apologise! I really really do!'

N:505:Groo the Wanderer
4
says: 'A fray! A fray!'
says: 'Groo does what Groo does best!'
says: 'All right, you savage, mindless creature. Prepare to meet your equal!'
says: 'I will slay you, and hack you, and waste you, and destroy you!'
3
says: 'Did I err?'
says: 'I did not think Groo could be frightened...'
says: 'I need no aid! Groo is beyond help!'

N:934:Fangorn the Treebeard
6
says: 'The night stretches out on the Isengard!'
says: 'Trolls are strong, Ents are STRONGER!'
says: 'Saruman will now stop using his axes on the trees...'
says: 'have you seen some Ent women ?'
says: 'I will crush all those burarum ... those orcs!'
says: 'I am totally of the side of nobody since nobody is totally of my side...'
0

N:732:Bull Gates
10
says, '640K should be enough for ANYBODY!'
says, 'Buy Windows 2000; the filesystem rocks!'
says, 'Linux?  Never heard of it...'
says, 'Resistance is futile--you will be assimilated.'
says, 'NT is the solution for ALL your needs!'
hacks out some code and calls it a Service Pack.
says, 'We don't have a monopoly... Mac OS still exists!'
wonders if he should buy a small country.
says, 'Where will we let you go today?  The Recycle Bin!'
cackles diabolically.
3
sobs, 'OK, Linux doesn't suck. Let me live?'
screams, 'Is megalomania THAT bad?'
apologises for MS-DOS.

N:733:Santa Claus
8
says, 'Ho ho ho! You're gonna die!'
says, 'You're gettin' COAL in your stocking!'
says, 'On Smasher, on Crasher, now dash away all!'
chortles sadistically.
says, 'You're on the Naughty List!'
says, 'No presents for you, ever!'
says, 'I'll sic my man-eating reindeer on you!'
says, 'I hate Christmas so much that I've gone psychotic!'
3
sobs, 'Think of the children you'll disappoint!'
sobs, 'No, Virginia, there isn't... not any more...'
attempts to buy you off with offers of goodies.

N:764:Uriel, Angel of Fire
N:765:Azriel, Angel of Death
N:769:Gabriel, the Messenger
7
says, 'Repent, evildoer!'
says, 'My righteousness shall cleanse you!'
says, 'Don't EVER steal from the collection plate!'
says, 'God may love you, but *I* don't!'
says, 'I shall smite thee with extreme prejudice!'
says, 'Hope you like eternal damnation!'
says, 'Verily, it is too late for thee.'
3
screams, 'Help! I am undone!'
says, 'The Most High hath ordained this; I must follow.'
screams, 'My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?'


N:850:Carcharoth, the Jaws of Thirst
N:846:Fenris Wolf
N:840:Draugluin, Sire of All Werewolves
8
barks and bellows frighteningly!
says, 'Oh good, another chew toy!'
says, 'Yummy! I was getting tired of chicken...'
lets out an earsplitting howl.
drools all over the dungeon.
lifts his leg at the nearest wall.
says, 'Bad adventurer! No more living for you!'
snarls and howls.
3
cringes and whimpers.
says, 'Look, I promise I won't bite the mailman anymore!'
says, 'Hey, put that rolled-up newspaper down!'

N:830:Cantoras, the Skeletal Lord
N:831:Mephistopheles, Lord of Hell
N:818:The Mouth of Sauron
N:819:Klingsor, Evil Master of Magic
N:804:Vecna, the Emperor Lich
N:844:Feagwath the Undead Sorceror
N:856:Gothmog, the High Captain of Balrogs
N:860:Sauron, the Sorcerer
12
brags, 'My power is beyond compare!'
snorts, 'A mere mortal dares challenge my might? HA!'
says, 'Not another one! I just finished chewing on the last!'
wonders aloud how many XP you're worth.
leafs through 'Evil Geniuses For Dummies'.
mutters, 'Another darn loser to kill...'
says, 'Angband shall claim your remains!'
says, 'Another 12 skulls and I get that reward from the Boss!'
yawns at your pathetic efforts to kill him.
says, 'Minions, slaughter this fool!'
says, 'Set thine house in order, for thou shalt die...'
says, 'I'm no god... God has MERCY!'
2
screams, 'This CAN'T be happening!'
shouts, 'Kill me if you want, the Boss will getcha!'

N:928:Mathilde, the Science Student
3
waves.
wishes you luck.
skips along happily.
1
is surrounded by the purple aura of the RNG. Touch at your peril.

N:861:Dark God, the Mighty Coder of Hell
6
says 'Hullo'.
emits a low 'hmmmm'.
screams 'I came from the Hells for YOU!'
laughs out loudly.
mutters something about bugs.
asks you about the new version.
1
screams 'ToME rules!'.

N:969:Princess
4
cries.
screams 'Help me !!!'.
whines 'I need your help, great hero...'.
implores you to help her.
1
screams 'I am too young to die!'.

N:970:Merton Proudfoot, the lost hobbit
1
whines 'Please help me, noble hero! My leg is broken, and I cannot walk.'
1
whines 'No, please don't hurt me!'

N:1039:Improv, the mighty MoLD
2
screams 'Your code is ugly!'
mutters something about bugs.
1
screams 'ToME rules!'.